Women falling for Bad Men....Really?

 

                               "Nafrat ko nafrat nahi sirf "Pyaar" mita sakta hai "

The theme on which most popular movie Ek Tha Villain was based at and every now and then seeing the actress wooing, treating the misdeeds of the bad guy "actor", with sheer innocence, love and sweetness, made me sit back and ponder, why does she need to do that? When she is aware that guy is not correct, bad in every aspect, not interested in relationship, why does she still believe her love can change him....and What if he doesn’t ??? Have good guys diminished in today's world that ladies chasing bad men for company and Love..?

 He’s arrogant, rude, a rebel, and crazy for physical pleasures...But yet women fall head-over-heels for the bad guy. It’s a common complaint among men in the dating world, still the phenomenon continues...Why?

"Foolish, foolish heart, you've been wrong before, don't be wrong anymore..."Remember the Steve Perry song? So why is the mistake repeated on and off ??

"Shreya darling what kind of partner you looking for ? "..."Arey wahi didi, the popular saying. Tall, Dark and Handsome, aur kya.." quipped Shreya. But do girls really choose dark complexion men when their criteria is personality? Studies suggest otherwise, it's fairness which matter. So does "Dark" here symbolize....Bad?...May be yes that's why the shows like True Blood and books/movies like Twilight have been so popular.... Let's have a reality check...

Arushi is from a conservative family where she has been brought up amongst traditional values and rational outlook towards life. She is quite focused in life and know her priorities quite clearly. She is no nonsense when it comes to guys around and makes a point to put her views afront. Varun is a very sweet colleague of hers and makes sure to make her feel comfortable always in his company, helping her with work and supporting her always. On other hand, Rajiv is a rogue, always flaunting his muscles, taking pangas at will, always debating clashing with Arushi, insensitive if his wordings hurt her at times. " Why do you always keep fighting with him, ignore him completely. Am there to take care of you and we gell also at work Arushi" adviced Varun to her against Rajiv. Days passed by, Varun ended up proposing Arushi, but was taken aback when she confessed her feelings for Rajiv.." Nahi yaar, you are best and too cute Varun, any lady would be happy to have u as partner, but don't know something in Rajiv appeals, ek spark hai..Sorry yaar "... Arushi reasoned her rejection of Varun's polite proposal.... How come such a sensible lady with values and strong willed, falling for a rogue? Why do ladies always end up suggesting the man is perfect for someone else but not for them?

Why do in today's world genuine and nice man , end up being last in race behind Bad men?

In my almost all counseling sessions, each time a woman asks me to help with her relationship, I end up discovering that she chased the man who seemed to be good for her only to find him a distant, abusive and unreliable man. Not only does the woman get hurt by that man but she also finds herself unable to give up on him or to move on.

In the same time such a woman usually finds herself unable to accept being with that nice guy who is chasing her all the time. Why do women like bad boys? and why do they prefer a man who abuses them over a man who seems to be nice?

Ask any woman about the man she would like to be with and she will respond saying that he must be nice and caring. Wait until this women gets into a relationship and you will find her chasing a jerk who treat her badly and who even abuses her. For the first instance this might seem confusing but when you get to know women better you will find that what they say is way far from what they do, Not because they are liars but rather because they don't quite understand how their minds works.

When a woman talks about her dream partner she uses her conscious mind but when she meets someone her subconscious mind quickly takes over to determine whether she will develop emotions for him or not.

Today's woman is very much confident and independent. They are no more who can be pushed aside and have made their mark in every field. They demand recognition with their hard work, possess skills to win any battle and can on their handle any situation. They are easily being taken as role models in every field...So why Bad men?

A bad boy is example of excitement, daringness, and the promise of adventure. Bad boys ooze danger from their pores and women are drawn to that raw grittiness like ants to honey. As a nice guy, you need to let your wild side come to the surface. Now, by that am suggesting that you act like something you're not or that you act rude, careless or otherwise boorish. You need to be yourself in order to be attractive to a woman; but, by all means, bring all of you to the party.

Show that you know how to have fun. It's all about attitude. Be enthusiastic about your interests and about hers. Being creative will score big points with a woman because this shows her that you are willing to risk looking like a fool in order to have fun with her.

Most women want a challenge that can help them get a self-esteem boost. Nothing can make a woman feel better about herself than taming that wild guy who isn't emotionally available. In other words, women go for these men hoping to change them to the better but they usually find themselves stuck.

Actress Mandira Bedi agrees. "I suppose it's nice to see somebody break the rules and break the mould. These guys aren't bad by nature; they have good qualities. Salman for instance has done a lot of good, a lot of social work. I suppose bad boys have certain loveable qualities about them. Maybe it compensates in a way. If your good side is equally good, it makes for an interesting package. There's a certain thrill of unpredictability and excitement. This makes for good boyfriend material, but not husband material," she says

It could indeed be said that nice guys don’t finish last; they just have to wait for women to follow their reason rather than their instinct.

Be nice from the inside but learn how to appear bad whenever its needed so that you become more attractive.

As for you women, learn how to look for the strong and confident man who is in the same time reliable and caring. A bad boy doesn't always have to be unreliable and a good guy doesn't always have to be needy.

Bottom line: It’s all about the Nice Guy. Nice Guys don't finish last... they just make sure the woman comes first.

Disclaimer: All the names used in this post are fictitious and resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely co-incidental. The views expressed are purely writer's perspective and there is always two sides to the coin.