Modern Day Relationship : How it starts and How should it ACTUALLY start[ Part-7]
Many have highlighted that I have shown the plight of the gals while degraded guys to the great extent. I would like to pin point here that I am not against guys or in favour of gals or vice-versa. My main intention of this post was to highlight that :
1) Today relationships start on wrong note and hardly are seem to have emotions, feelings involved affront. People involved mostly see comfort zone, sudden attraction, making sumone realize, knowing for ages, good friends are some of the examples which provoke people to get into the relationship. They then to justify that this all attributes to involvement of feelings only, which is not true.
2) Guys more than gals mostly require a newness/spice going on in a relationship to hold on to their interest in the relationship, change from routine or same old interactions with same partner.
3) Gals have a strong belief that by giving more love, care, affection they can pull their going away from partner towards them and agreeing everything to guy’s wishes, would make their bond stronger. “love Is Blind” agreed, but gals are not aware that most of the gals if have all their wishes fulfilled, tend to take the gals for granted some time or the another, which needs to be stopped.
4) Whenever any relationship ends on a sour note, a gal should hold themselves equally responsible and not always end up just putting all the blame on the guy for getting used or dumped. I am not blasting/criticizing gals here, but making them aware where do they make mistakes and how the sweet relationship in starting, turns the guy’s way coz of their some foolishness.
Many won’t be agreeing to my upper facts about relationship, but let me remind everyone that whatever I have mentioned above are the most common points because of which things turn ugly in relationships now a days and they don’t last the full distance. I would agree with anyone would say that, I have never come across such instances stated above in life, for the very reason that people now a days have fixed mindset about things and are not flexible enough to accept other’s viewpoints, even if they sound genuine. No one likes to be told things or made to heed in some direction. People just end up things on a lighter note by giving their hearts the reason that everyone has their own perception and doesn’t apply to us. But show them the the mirror and they would ignore it.
People nowadays approach the relationship counselor/love guru for helping them resolve issues in their relationship. They heed such people’s advice to great extent and maintain a strong belief that these people are quite experienced/talented enough and no harm in heeding their advices. But, any advice given by a best friend, would go unnoticed by such people. Relationship counselors are not gods or people who possess capability to resolve any issue, because they are not in your shoes to understand what you would be going through and how issues would have affected your lives. What they exactly do is use their past experience of interacting with people, use the past real life examples and provoke you to realize the importance of things, which you have been ignoring for a long time. They make you ponder over things, which you feel you know, so never thought about it. Typical example can be, asking people what exactly is LOVE about. Everyone tends to ignore this topic to great extent, because everyone knows what true love is and what is takes to be in love, so any advices or views given by anyone else, are seriously ignored. This is what relationship counselors are best in making people realize.
But do we really require counselors to guide us? Cant’ we ourselves realize what we do wrong and what can make our relationship work? I agree at times we do need a third point of view, but why relying heavily on them, when you can back your own intuition and make things work. “ Sumtimes it’s necessary to feel the pain ourselves to realize the value of pain in actual life” ……….
I might have diverted from the actual topic, but wanted to highlight on basic things which people now a days do to make their relationships work. So that leads to the question, then what exactly is the way or how should we exactly start a relationship where we can maximize our chances of it lasting a longest time?
P..S - All sorts of comments are more than welcome. Neither I am perfect nor I have any sort of mastery in making relationships work or give any advices related to it. Whatever I have mentioned till date is just my learning from my past relationships and interactions with people of different personalities and viewpoints !!!
1) Today relationships start on wrong note and hardly are seem to have emotions, feelings involved affront. People involved mostly see comfort zone, sudden attraction, making sumone realize, knowing for ages, good friends are some of the examples which provoke people to get into the relationship. They then to justify that this all attributes to involvement of feelings only, which is not true.
2) Guys more than gals mostly require a newness/spice going on in a relationship to hold on to their interest in the relationship, change from routine or same old interactions with same partner.
3) Gals have a strong belief that by giving more love, care, affection they can pull their going away from partner towards them and agreeing everything to guy’s wishes, would make their bond stronger. “love Is Blind” agreed, but gals are not aware that most of the gals if have all their wishes fulfilled, tend to take the gals for granted some time or the another, which needs to be stopped.
4) Whenever any relationship ends on a sour note, a gal should hold themselves equally responsible and not always end up just putting all the blame on the guy for getting used or dumped. I am not blasting/criticizing gals here, but making them aware where do they make mistakes and how the sweet relationship in starting, turns the guy’s way coz of their some foolishness.
Many won’t be agreeing to my upper facts about relationship, but let me remind everyone that whatever I have mentioned above are the most common points because of which things turn ugly in relationships now a days and they don’t last the full distance. I would agree with anyone would say that, I have never come across such instances stated above in life, for the very reason that people now a days have fixed mindset about things and are not flexible enough to accept other’s viewpoints, even if they sound genuine. No one likes to be told things or made to heed in some direction. People just end up things on a lighter note by giving their hearts the reason that everyone has their own perception and doesn’t apply to us. But show them the the mirror and they would ignore it.
People nowadays approach the relationship counselor/love guru for helping them resolve issues in their relationship. They heed such people’s advice to great extent and maintain a strong belief that these people are quite experienced/talented enough and no harm in heeding their advices. But, any advice given by a best friend, would go unnoticed by such people. Relationship counselors are not gods or people who possess capability to resolve any issue, because they are not in your shoes to understand what you would be going through and how issues would have affected your lives. What they exactly do is use their past experience of interacting with people, use the past real life examples and provoke you to realize the importance of things, which you have been ignoring for a long time. They make you ponder over things, which you feel you know, so never thought about it. Typical example can be, asking people what exactly is LOVE about. Everyone tends to ignore this topic to great extent, because everyone knows what true love is and what is takes to be in love, so any advices or views given by anyone else, are seriously ignored. This is what relationship counselors are best in making people realize.
But do we really require counselors to guide us? Cant’ we ourselves realize what we do wrong and what can make our relationship work? I agree at times we do need a third point of view, but why relying heavily on them, when you can back your own intuition and make things work. “ Sumtimes it’s necessary to feel the pain ourselves to realize the value of pain in actual life” ……….
I might have diverted from the actual topic, but wanted to highlight on basic things which people now a days do to make their relationships work. So that leads to the question, then what exactly is the way or how should we exactly start a relationship where we can maximize our chances of it lasting a longest time?
P..S - All sorts of comments are more than welcome. Neither I am perfect nor I have any sort of mastery in making relationships work or give any advices related to it. Whatever I have mentioned till date is just my learning from my past relationships and interactions with people of different personalities and viewpoints !!!
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